The Cole Hamels of Old

Before you read this (or after), I updated late last night/early this morning with some stuff about JA Happ and the pitching situation. So if you get a chance read that one too if you havent already and let everybody know what you think. Thanks everybody. Now, for today's game...

It was good to see Cole remain in last season's form for his 2nd or 3rd straight start. Today was even more so than any of the other games, though. Something I noticed a lot last year was the complete lack of run support any time Hamels pitched. Today was no exception. His final stat line:
7IP, 7H, 2R, 1ER, 1BB, 9K
If you told me we'd be getting 7 innings and 1 earned run from our starter and losing I'd punch you in the face. But that is, in fact, what happened. Hamels should be used to this, though. Last season, he finished with a 14-10 record. He missed out on winning the Cy Young not because other pitchers were better but because our offense was that bad when he was on the mound. It is sometimes hard to believe how well we did last season considering this: If Cole Hamels got a win each time he pitched 7 innings or more and gave up 2 earned runs or less, he would have gone 23-7. 23-7. And so you don't have to reread, he was actually 14-10. That means we actually lost the game 3 times that he did that. And 6 other times we couldn't put enough runs on the board in those 7+ innings to get him a win. That's unbelievable to me

Speaking of great pitchers, apparently Jonathan Broxton is the second coming of Jesus Christ. Get ready people, the rapture is upon us. I pity those who actually watched the game with the volume on this afternoon while he was on the mound (myself included). Wheels and T Mac did everything short of ask this guy to marry their daughters. Or wives for that matter. This was comparable to ESPN's love affair with David Price leading up to the World Series. Although they did not compare Broxton to Tiger Woods (as Buster Olney did with Price), here are some things they were saying:
Wheels: "There's no mistake who that is warming up out there"
I understand that he's a big dude, but people don't actually know who he is. So there are probably plenty of mistakes.
T-Mac: "You talk about offensive linemen...this guy is 6'4"!"
The Phillies have 4 pitchers 6'4" or taller, including two 6'6" guys. And Broxton is listed at 6'3"
Wheels (when they show Broxton yelling after giving up a hit cause he isn't that good): "They say he's a really competitive guy"
If there is a more obvious/pointless character trait to point out in a professional athlete, someone please tell me.
T-Mac: "I don't think there's another relief pitcher in baseball who throws as hard as him"
OK, he throws 99 mph. There are plenty of others who can do that. Just because he's fat doesn't mean 99 mph is faster than 99 mph.
T-Mac (after Broxton gave up the game-tying double to Ruiz): "Broxton is just blowing people away"
Seriously?

These are just some of the quotes I actually got the chance to type while watching the game. I think anyone paying attention during that 9th inning can vouch for the incredible praises they were showering down upon a guy who a casual baseball fan probably hasn't heard of. I think Broxton will probably be good or whatever (I don't really care), but this was ridiculous. At some point I think they actually had to get new microphones because the ones they were using were covered in drool. To top all of this off, he tried his best to lose the game for the Dodgers. Thanks to our bad pitching, he got the win, but he didn't earn it. Congrats Broxton, I will never respect you.